Why the Government and Music Festivals can't fight Fred Flasks, and 4 reasons why you should use him:
Just as someone finally answers our prayers with a solution to overpriced festival drinks of course The Man try’s to tear him down. But Fred won't be shackled or exiled by the Nanny State because, like Mel Gibson, Fred fights for Freedom.
In case you are unfamiliar with his cause, Fred is a refillable, recyclable, disposable flask sold for the tiny fee of as low as $2.50 a pop and created by a company run by some good-hearted Melbourne boys.
Fred typically allows you to hold 240mls (8 shots) of your favourite type of orange juice... or lemonade... or green tea... or an adults-only alcamahol concoction desperately needed to avoid outrageous drink prices at festivals and clubs.
Fred's cause has grown strong since his birth in May last year and has amassed a large social media presence on Facebook and Instagram. But as Dizzie Drake knows too well, with popularity comes haters, and according to themusic.com.au the Government and event promoters have spoken out against Fred stating he's not in-line with RSA laws. That said, the contemporary Abraham Lincoln is pushing ahead with sales volumes and looking to secure contracts with liquor stores nation-wide in 2015.
The government and festival organisers have condemned Fred because they believe he encourages irresponsible drinking and smuggling contraband into licensed venues. In response to complaints from the haters, Federal Assistant Minister for Health Fiona Nash has said:
“The States and Territories are responsible for liquor licensing and supply of alcohol. ‘Smuggling’ alcohol into licensed events is likely to breach the conditions of that event.”
No doubt. But if you think about it, Fred is just like any other metallic or plastic flask you find at Paddy’s market on a sweaty Sunday, alongside ninja stars and samurai swords. In fact, if you want to go more even more basic, Fred is basically just a water bottle. An environmentally friendly, dirt cheap, totes cool, fits-perfectly-down-your-pants-so-security-can't-see water bottle. Co-founder Jake Mckeon has the usual response:
“Flasks have been around for a long time, we’re simply offering an alternative to aluminium flasks. We feel that by offering our flasks, we are allowing people who may not be able to afford going to events (with the price of drinks), to actually go out, attend festivals and have a good time.”
Like what he’s saying? Read 4 points why you should start associating yourself with Old Mate Fred below:
- He's as cheap as you: 8 shots is 8 drinks at the bar - how much money does that mean for you? For your local dive bar it’s probably around $8 a drink, so $64 total. If you’re at a festival it’s more likely to be $10 a drink, so $80 in total. If you’re on a 4-day bender or at Falls Festival 2015 you see how Fred saved 7 punters over $236 each (and how to smuggle over 15 bottles of spirits) by clicking the link here.
- He's safer than drugs: this liquid mule won’t get you facing the firing squad. Nor will you get a skit written about you by Mr G in the next episode of ‘Summer Heights High.’ Drugs are bad. Alcohol is good. Or at least socially accepted and easier to obtain legally. As pills become so unpredictable that you don’t know if it’s washing powder or a certified Wall Street Lemmon, it’s probably in your best interest to stay safe with Fred.
- He's good to you (and the environment): being 100% BPA free makes it an Australian product extremely unlikely to give you Hep A unlike your dirty Nanna's berries. Being 100% recyclable means all the trees in the world want to hug you also. So even though you got kicked out on a drunken rampage or soiled yourself, if you had Fred there, it means you care about the world we live in (apparently), and that you're actually a good person. (Apparently).
- He’s cool: if the government is trying to bring something down then you know it's got value to the kids. Like 1.30AM lock-out laws and shots after midnight, Fat Tony feels the need to regulate anything that requires individual management in case the worst happens. So like all children with hover-parents, you know deep down its time to meet that expectation and start listening to Fred like he's Notorious BIG.
Boats and hoes.
Fred has fast shipping and is immediately ready to party. If you want to be part of the revolt against overpriced drinks and fight the government like a drunken Julian Assange, find Fred at his dear old home here.